It’s 2089. all cops have been replaced by genetically modified dogs that let children pet them, help old ladies cross the street, chase down criminals, never eat donuts, bark at cat-callers, analyze dna, easily track down murders, pee on white collar criminals, and tear the faces off of rapists. utopia has been reached.
Human: “HAHAHA Animals are so dumb!”
*goes to war with its own species, uses up all of its resources, destroys its own environment, pollutes its own air and water*
Animal: *licks its own asshole*
human: *licks someone else’s asshole and calls it sex*
one time in 7th grade i stayed up for 3 days straight just to see if i could. on the third day in history class i watched my hand and pencil warp through my desk and my friend beside me nudged me and said “you’ve been staring at your hand for the past 30 minutes” and ever since i always get enough sleep and you should too